One Wedding Required! Read online

  She waited until he had positioned himself by the windows, and then walked towards him very slowly and deliberately, searching his face for signs of resentment at the fact that she was still able-bodied, but there were none. Just that easy and appreciative sweeping stare, and the only too familiar glint in the depths of his eyes which normally meant that he was thinking very strongly about one thing. And Amber found herself wondering... wondering...

  ‘Why, you’re blushing, Amber,’ he murmured as she sat down opposite him.

  ‘And I’m waiting.’

  ‘What are you waiting for, honey?’

  She ignored the teasing sensuality she saw written on his face, the honeyed pause in his words. ‘For that explanation you just promised me, Finn. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten already. Maybe I should remind you.’ She levelled an accusing stare at him. ‘Your affair with Birgitta should do for starters—’

  ‘There was never any affair with Birgitta!’ he growled immediately.

  ‘No? Just a little heavy petting, perhaps?’ She narrowed her eyes with the intention of shocking him. ‘A little non-penetrative sex?’ she suggested daringly, and saw fury fall on his face like a dark cloud.

  ‘Amber!’ he exploded. ‘What the hell’s got into you?’

  All her anger and her bitterness came pouring out of her mouth like bile. ‘I wonder you have the nerve to even ask me that!’ she stormed. ‘How do you think it felt to see you sprawled all over the top of the piano?’

  ‘Don’t you think I didn’t know how it would feel?’

  ‘Then why do it? Why hurt me that way—?’

  ‘Because you wouldn’t leave me,’ he cut across her, his sigh like a heavy burden. ‘You just wouldn’t go. I had to take desperate measures because it was a desperate situation. I’d been as cool and offhand and abrupt to you as I knew how—yet still you loved me more than I deserved. Still you wouldn’t go.’

  The starkness of his words was like being sandbagged. Amber sagged as she stared at him, gripping her hands together so tightly that her knuckles whitened. ‘What are you talking about?’ she demanded, her voice a hoarse whisper. ‘I don’t understand.’

  ‘We’d been arguing for weeks. Do you remember?’

  ‘How could I ever forget?’ she asked bitterly.

  ‘I’d been working so hard I was threadbare. I was tetchy, impatient—’

  ‘I Know,’ she put in quietly. ‘I was there.’

  ‘Yes.’ His eyes softened as he looked at her. ‘Then I came back from Australia feeling ill.’

  ‘You were ill in Australia,’ she pointed out.

  He nodded. ‘With a virus. The doctors think I was susceptible because I was so wiped out. That’s what caused—’ with outstretched fingers he indicated his motionless legs ‘—this.’ He looked up at her, from beneath eyelashes which had never looked so sinfully long. Or so dark. ‘How much do you know about my illness?’

  She’d read everything she could lay her hands on, and knew that Finn had been desperately unlucky in his extreme reaction to the virus. ‘I know that it’s a post-viral syndrome with varying degrees of severity.’ She lifted her chin and looked at him steadily. ‘But I don’t want to talk about your illness.’

  ‘You don’t?’

  ‘Oh, I’m not avoiding the subject because it’s too uncomfortable to tackle,’ she explained. ‘I’d just rather talk about why you kissed Birgitta instead.’

  Something in her words seemed to amuse him. ‘You never cease to amaze me with your unpredictability, Amber.’

  ‘Why the surprise?’ she asked.

  ‘Because when you have some kind of disability like this, you become that disability—and that’s all people do want to talk about. As if they can’t see you in isolation from your illness. At least—’ and he quirked a smile in her direction ‘—most people. But not you.’

  It was the second time that afternoon that he had paid her a fairly hefty compliment, but Amber was determined not to be swayed by his flattery. ‘I’m still waiting, Finn.’

  It was a moment or two before he began to speak. ‘When I got back to England from the Australian trip, I began to experience odd sensations—a numbness in my toes, and my fingers—and just a general weakness. Everything—even the simplest task—seemed to take the most gigantic effort. Some instinct told me that these symptoms were more than simply jet-lag, or fatigue—’

  ‘But you didn’t tell me about them?’ she interrupted.

  He shook his head. ‘No.’

  ‘Why not?’

  Their eyes met. ‘Instinct again. I sensed that something was seriously wrong. I saw three doctors—all of them experts in their field—and the one tentative diagnosis that they were all prepared to make was that I might be in the early stages of Guillain-Barré syndrome.’

  ‘But that still doesn’t explain—’

  He shook his head impatiently. ‘By New Year’s Eve, when I took myself off to see Dr Number Three, I was feeling pretty rough. He wanted to admit me to hospital that night, but I wouldn’t let him. So he told me to go home and rest. Quietly...’

  Amber knew in Finn-speak ‘pretty rough’ meant unbearably ill. ‘That’s why you kept me out of the flat that day?’ she hazarded. ‘Why you got the professionals in to organise the party? Why you encouraged me to stay at Ursula’s?’

  He nodded, and something written in his eyes made her realise just what else he had done. He had used the ultimate deterrent...

  ‘So the kiss—’ she spoke slowly ‘—with Birgitta. It wasn’t for real, was it? None of it. It was just a set-up?’

  He nodded again. ‘That’s right. I had come so close to telling you the truth about my illness that night. You were being so sweet, so understanding... I knew that my supposed desire for another woman would be the only sure-fire way I could get you to leave me. You’d as good as told me so yourself.’

  She looked at him in bewilderment. ‘But why, Finn? Why should I have ever wanted to leave you when you most needed me?’

  ‘Because my symptoms were escalating with such rapid speed that I knew from what I had been told by the medics that I was one of those most likely to have a poor outcome from the disease.’

  ‘You mean you might have died?’

  ‘I might.’

  ‘And didn’t you think I deserved to make that decision for myself? Don’t you think I would have stayed with you—no matter what?’

  ‘I didn’t want you to stay with me “no matter what”!’ he told her quietly, his eyes shining with intensity. ‘I didn’t want you to have to dress me. Feed me. Clean me,’ he added ruthlessly, searching her face for appalled distaste, but there was none. ‘I didn’t want you to tie yourself to a cripple for the rest of your life!’

  ‘But you’re a cripple now,’ she told him with a candour which surprised even herself. ‘So what happened to change your mind?’

  His eyes narrowed in disbelieving respect. ‘I don’t believe you, Amber O’Neil. I just don’t believe you—’

  Amber shook her head. ‘I don’t want your praise at the moment, thank you, Finn,’ she said firmly. ‘I want you to tell me about the night of your party.’

  ‘Okay.’ He ran his fingers thoughtfully along the arm of the chair. ‘I had practised the two piano pieces very little, but somehow I thought I would get through it—God knows how, when I was feeling as weak as cotton wool. I sat down at the piano—’

  ‘I remember,’ she said, shivering.

  ‘And all of a sudden I realised that I couldn’t use my fingers properly! The reality was like being hit very hard with a sledgehammer—and that was when I kissed Birgitta.’

  ‘And she kissed you back,’ Amber observed painfully.

  ‘Yes.’ He looked at her from between narrowed eyes. ‘It didn’t turn me on at all, you know. Not in the slightest.’

  ‘And is that supposed to be some kind of consolation? ’

  He considered this. ‘I think that I would find it consoling, if the situation were reversed.
’

  ‘But you’ve no idea whether I’ve kissed anyone since we’ve been separated.’

  ‘No.’ A pause. ‘Have you?’

  ‘No—and you can wipe that smug expression off your face, Finn Fitzgerald!’

  ‘Yeah.’ His face became serious once more. ‘After you’d left, I got Birgitta to call the doctor, and I was admitted to hospital.’

  ‘And the note?’ she questioned. ‘The note Birgitta gave to me at the hospital?’

  He winced. ‘Writing it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do—both mentally and physically. I made her promise to give it to you. She didn’t want to.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because she thought you loved me enough to be able to bear the truth.’

  ‘But you didn’t?’ asked Amber slowly.

  ‘Of course I did! I just didn’t want to put you in that position.’

  ‘Until now?’

  ‘Until now,’ he echoed.

  ‘And what happened to change your mind?’

  ‘I missed you,’ he said simply.

  Three words; just three words—but they told her everything she needed to know. She rose to her feet, her mouth a curving smile as she moved to stand in front of him. ‘Tell me, Finn,’ she urged softly. ‘Tell me that in your heart you don’t really want me, and I’ll go away and never come back again. But if you ask me whether I want you—then the answer remains constant. Because I do. Whether you’re stuck in that chair, or out of it. It doesn’t go away, the wanting. I’m stuck with it, I guess.’

  She saw the starry light which gleamed so green in his eyes, and she bent her face to his to whisper, ‘And I don’t want your gratitude, either, Finn. I just want you. Whatever you’ve got to give to me—I want it.’

  ‘Maybe I have nothing to give you?’ He looked at her deliberately.

  ‘I don’t believe you,’ she husked. ‘There’s been desire written in your eyes since you came in here today. And not just in your eyes, either.’ She dropped her gaze provocatively, and let her eyes linger on the butting ridge which was easily visible through the cream chinos he wore. She saw his mouth tighten with tension in response. ‘I’m going to make the earth move for you, Finn—even if your feet can’t.’

  He threw back his head and laughed with uninhibited joy. ‘Oh, sugar,’ he breathed, with a pleasure which sounded newly minted.

  ‘So why don’t we go some place quiet and find out just what we can do?’ she purred.

  He smiled. ‘I guess this means that you’re going to dominate me sexually from now on, does it?’

  ‘Would that be a problem, then?’

  ‘How could a secret fantasy I’ve nurtured since I first took your innocence ever be a problem, honey?’

  ‘You may have taken my innocence,’ she told him softly, ‘but you gave me so much in its place. You taught me everything I know, and now I’m going to demonstrate what a wonderful teacher you were. I want to lick every inch of you, until you’re begging me to stop,’ she whispered.

  ‘Sweet Lord!’ he husked. ‘Amber!’

  ‘Take me somewhere,’ she told him, suddenly urgent. ‘Somewhere private.’

  She saw exquisite anticipation harden his features into a rigid mask as he nodded and released the brake on the chair, moving away so quickly that she had to quicken her pace to keep up with him. Even in physical confinement he was formidable! Amber watched the back of his head with pride as she followed him, and right at that moment he stopped, and turned his head to look at her, and the dark, rugged profile was more heart-stoppingly beautiful than she had ever seen it.

  ‘No regrets?’ he asked her softly.

  She owed him nothing less than the truth. ‘Some,’ she admitted quietly. ‘It wouldn’t be natural if I didn’t. But they’re disappearing even as I look into your eyes.’

  He seemed about to say something then, but clearly thought better of it as he pushed open the door he had stopped outside and wheeled himself in, with Amber close behind.

  It was a vast, airy room in which stood the biggest bed Amber had ever seen. It was covered in a midnightblue throw of rich velvet, and the gold squashy cushions scattered over it gave the room a luxurious, sybaritic look.

  He moved round to face her and impulsively she crouched down so that their faces were once more on a level, and she kissed him.

  Afterwards, Amber thought it was probably the most perfect kiss that they had ever shared—but then they had been through a lot to get where they were right then. The brush of his mouth was tender, the wet flicker of his tongue both erotic and loving. Oh, so loving.

  Amber sighed and put her arms on his shoulders and, long minutes later, after the kiss had ended and they finally came up for air, she put her mouth close to his ear and whispered, ‘Finn?’

  His voice was almost slurred with pleasure. ‘Amber?’ he murmured throatily.

  ‘Shall we go to bed now? You’ll...’ she felt oddly shy, but was determined not to shirk the practicalities of their situation ‘...have to show me what to do,’ she finished breathlessly.

  There was a strained, but oddly triumphant note in his answering response. ‘Go over there and take your jacket off,’ he instructed sultrily. ‘And I’ll show you everything you need to know.’

  Something in his eyes silenced the question she had been about to ask, and Amber walked over to the bed. She began to slowly unbutton the navy cashmere jacket of her trouser suit, just as he had asked, watching him all the time as she did so, wondering whether he wanted her to perform an erotic striptease. Wondering whether that would help him... And wondering, with all these high emotions swirling in the air around them, whether she would be able to do it with any degree of skill.

  She took the jacket off and folded it carefully with fingers which were trying not to shake as she put it down neatly on the bed. Underneath she wore a thin silk camisole and she shivered, more from nerves than from cold. But as she watched him for some kind of reaction, she blinked in astonishment. The unbelievable was happening. Finn was...Finn was...was...

  Amber shook her head as he rose from the chair, certain that she must be hallucinating. But, no, hallucinations were supposed to give you a distorted feeling of unreality, and this was real enough.

  He took a step towards her which didn’t even falter, and that told her something else which her shocked brain was too befuddled to interpret.

  It wasn’t until he was almost by her side that the truth kicked in, and she slid onto the floor into the welcome arms of oblivion.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  AMBER opened her eyes to find that she had been lifted onto the bed.

  How?

  And Finn was bending over her, his face a picture of frowning concern as he smoothed the hair back from her face.

  Flapping her hand at him as though it had been burnt, she attempted to sit up at the same time, but he laid a restraining hand on her bare shoulder.

  ‘Don’t move, honey,’ he instructed huskily, as he stroked at the skin there with the fleshy pad of his thumb. ‘You’ve had a shock.’

  It was so long since she had felt him touch her that instinct almost made her do as he asked, to just luxuriate in that first contact, but then she remembered. And how! With an almighty effort, she wriggled her shoulder free of his hand and sat up, scarcely believing what had happened. What he had done!

  ‘Too right I’ve had a shock,’ she agreed shakily, as she drew in a struggling breath of control. ‘A shock to know that I could still feel anything for a lying, cheating bastard like you, Finn Fitzgerald!’ She looked at the muscular bunching of his thighs and realised that this was not a man who had spent the past weeks in a wheelchair. He must have lifted her onto the bed—and she was no featherweight! ‘How long is it since you’ve been able to walk?’

  ‘About a month,’ he admitted. ‘I’ve been building my strength back up.’

  ‘How could you, Finn?’ she demanded, her question wobbling precariously. ‘How could you deceive me like that?’ />
  ‘Because I had to know!’ he declared in a low undertone which trembled with a raw passion. He pointed at the empty wheelchair. ‘That could so easily have been the outcome of my illness.’

  ‘So?’

  ‘So I needed to know whether you would still want me and desire me if I didn’t happen to fit your stereotype of the perfect lover.’

  She stared at him in disbelief. Then shook her head. ‘A test of my love for you?’ she queried acidly. ‘Is that what this whole charade was for?’

  ‘I was paralysed,’ he gritted out. ‘And I was confined to that damned wheelchair.’

  ‘Which doesn’t explain why you deceived me!’ Her mouth began to wobble again. ‘In such a cruel way as that!’

  ‘Doesn’t it?’ he queried. ‘Can’t you understand, Amber, that this is so nearly how it might have been? This might have been our reality. Being physically disabled is no picnic, you know—’

  ‘I didn’t say it was,’ she said stubbornly. ‘But you knew that I loved you.’

  ‘You loved me when I was able-bodied,’ he argued. ‘That’s the man you took on. But things had changed—more dramatically than I would ever have wished for. I didn’t want to take advantage of that love by tying you to a man you would have to help feed, wash—a man who might not have been able to give you the babies that I know you’ve always longed for.’

  ‘But you’re none of those things,’ she objected. ‘So why trick me?’

  ‘It wasn’t a question of tricking you, sweetheart,’ he said, in the gentlest voice she had ever heard him use. ‘But don’t you think that it would have always been there, like a great big barrier between us, this huge question?’

  ‘Of whether I loved you enough to stay with you if you had ended up in a wheelchair?’

  ‘That’s one way of looking at it.’ A small frown pleated his forehead. ‘But how about if I told you that I didn’t doubt your loyalty or your love or your steadfastness, not for a moment—though I wasn’t sure whether you would still desire me. And that maybe I wanted to have the opportunity to see you demonstrate all those things, and more...and you did...’ His eyes softened with green luminosity as they met hers in a long look. ‘Oh, and you did, Amber—beyond my wildest imaginings. You made me feel normal again—even though I was in a wheelchair. No one else could do that, honey.’